Adoption Adoption blog

Staying in Touch is the continuity of relationships between a child and their birth family members after the child has been adopted. You may hear this referred to as ‘contact’ or ‘family time’ when reading other posts/blogs/forums.

Adopting a child is a life-changing journey, and for many families, navigating the complexities of maintaining Staying in Touch arrangements with a child’s birth family can feel overwhelming at the start of your journey.

However, fostering these connections’ when appropriate can play a vital role in a child’s identity and emotional well-being.

For many adopted children, understanding where they come from can be essential to building a strong sense of self.

Whether through direct or indirect Staying in Touch arrangements, maintaining a relationship with the child’s birth family can:

• preserve the child’s identity, as it helps children understand their heritage, culture, and personal history
• answer questions, many children have unanswered questions about their birth family, which Staying in Touch arrangements can help address
• support emotional well-being, when handled positively, Staying in Touch arrangements can affirm a child’s sense of belonging and reduce feelings of loss or confusion

The level of Staying in Touch will vary depending on your child’s needs. Common types of Staying in Touch arrangements include:

• direct, including face-to-face meetings, visits, or family gatherings (this is recommended where it is assessed as in the child’s best interests and risk assessed as safe to do so)
• indirect, including letters, emails, photos, or updates shared through an intermediary, such as an adoption agency

To ensure Staying in Touch arrangements benefits the child, it’s important to establish and maintain clear boundaries.

As an adoption agency, we'll support you to:

Define the nature and frequency of Staying in Touch arrangements in consultation with the birth family and professionals.

Adoption agencies or social workers can mediate interactions, ensuring they’re constructive and child-focused.

Professionals can also support you to re-assess what type of Staying in Touch arrangements are most appropriate for your child as your child’s needs and views develops.

The plan initially put in place may not be appropriate as your child grows and Adopter’s need to be fluid in their approach to Staying in Touch.

Your child’s feelings about Staying in Touch arrangements may evolve over time. To support them it is important to:

• talk openly and encourage questions and conversations about their birth family in an age-appropriate way
• validate emotions, children may experience a mix of emotions; curiosity, excitement, confusion, or even sadness and you should reassure them that all feelings are valid
• empower them and allow them to have a say in the type and frequency of Staying in Touch arrangements, especially as they grow older

Staying in Touch with a birth family is not a one-size-fits-all solution. It’s a lifelong journey that requires ongoing flexibility, fluidity and sensitivity. By maintaining an open mind and a child-focused approach, you can help your child navigate their identity and build positive, meaningful relationships.

Remember, every family’s experience is unique, and there’s no accurate way to manage Staying in Touch; the key is to stay attuned to your child’s needs and seek support when necessary.

If you'd like to know more about the Staying in Touch service or are ready to start your adoption journey, contact the fostering team.